Geriatric Theatrics

From Tumblr:

“It’s amazing how many prophecies involve teens. You’d think they’d pick more emotionally stable people, with more free time. Like grandmas.” — “I would read the hell out of a series of a chosen eighty-five-year-old woman who goes on epic journeys throughout a dangerous and magical land, armed only with a cane and her stab-tastic knitting needles, accompanied by her six cats and a skittish-yet-devoted orderly who makes sure she takes her pills on time.”

Campaign setting

  • Village name: Edelwald
  • You are an adventurer who hit Level 10 and then retired, perhaps to a nice feudal keep somewhere or something
  • You are the oldest age category
  • But everything changed when the dragon attacked!
  • Now you have to pick up your old weapons, dust off your spellbooks, and do what it takes to save your village. You’re not letting this bastard ruin your well-deserved rest!
  • No young people are in your village because the local Baron has levied them all for his turf wars. They are gone off fighting for the nobles. (Shades of The Once and Future King, here, with gallowglasses vs. knights.)
  • No PVP.
  • No deliberate destructiveness to the game.


  • Level 10 in a PC class(es). NPC classes optional.
  • Age: Venerable. Non-humanoids considered, but they have to be ECL 10 (not easy with, say, a dragon; probably possible with a kobold or one of the lesser dragons).
  • Must incorporate some stereotypically old-person thing, to distinguish you from Generic Young Or Middle Aged Adventurer #472. Doesn’t have to be a mechanical effect – just something to build character/flavor of the game.
  • This is probably very early on in the timeline, so there are still Random Monsters and things.
  • Probably going to use a different site like RPOL to manage the play-by-posting, but character backgrounds/etc. should still go here.
  • For playing-by-posting, I expect I’d decree a maximum of 1 post per player per day, and I might not check the board daily, so. (Not sure what the conventions are there.)
  • Combat is a pain in the butt online, but can probably be made less annoying with some conventions (like a Cartesian coordinate system/graph paper).
  • And aw hell, I’ll play the NPC who brings the party together. Maybe it’s an old set of friends, maybe it’s people who don’t know each other – who knows? When you write up the character description, indicate how you know the group.

List of characters

  • Aranar Firefoot (Emily) – glimmerskin halfling sorceress who prefers to make her own luck. Relies on daily application of Huile de Toujours to keep her skin, nails, and hair looking young. Instigator NPC for the adventure; does not go out with the party, but provides helpful items and such.
  • Alef (Eric) – A priest who has trouble with a local goatherd’s kids – "Priest, retired to an outlying small facility where he takes care of the records, small library, and grounds. Has an ongoing dispute with a shepherd whose baby goats keep chewing on the landscaping. “Keep your damn kids off my lawn!”"
  • Leono Domition-Cabela (Gramm) – A cunning human jack-of-all-trades (factotum). Retired gentleman thief. Refuses to accept that he’s not as spry and cool as he used to be, so routinely overextends himself to keep up with younger, fitter people. Makes generationally inappropriate passes at younger women. Makes cultural references that are 50 years out of date or bungles modern cultural references."
  • Valorynn Sunscale (Mat) – Elven sorceress from Fela Thalor
  • Rolen Galanodel (Pat) – Half-elven warlord also from the eastern regions [Myth-Weavers Sheet]


  • Quintus – a young shepherd who hears the dragon’s demands and has several goats killed

Suggestions for players

  • Suggestion of race: Killoren (Races of the Wild) – a type of fey. “Aspect of the Ancient” might be appropriate. ;-) (But wouldn’t be mandatory all of the time.)
  • Goliaths are also an interesting thought, here.
  • Who the fuck is my D&D character? is always fun.

Time and Place

The game will take place in the Barony of Ravenswood – a region that will eventually become part of Verano when that nation (and its capital, Sunburg) is formed in 0 AUC. This game takes place 20 years PUC (so, 20 years before the nation of Verano is founded). The region is a bunch of warring baronies right now, which is why it’s necessary for the elderly to take up arms again to defend their homes – all the young and middle-aged people who can fight have been taken off in levies.

Note that, at this point in the timeline, teleportation still works.

For fun/interest: the adjacent province (to the west) is The Willowlands. This game is probably taking place while the father of the Elemental Master is nearing the end of his tenure.

Geriatric Theatrics

Varn Campaign World Skeolan